1. See at least one major-stage headliner - we know it's not considered cool to be down the front for the biggest acts. Your mates are already yelping "dude, the Tadpole Stage is the place to be" in your ear. But there's nothing like the thrill of seeing someone blowing away the Pyramid or Other stage as the last act of the evening. With U2, Coldplay, Beyoncé, Primal Scream, The Chemical Brothers and Queens of the Stone Age, there should be something for everyone.
Watch Paul McCartney explode the Pyramid Stage with 'Live and Let Die' in 2004:
2. Don't go to bed when they're done - the hours between midnight and 5am are some of the best at the festival. Unlike some of its competitors, Glastonbury doesn't shut down when the main stages take a break and nor should you. Get yourself to the Rabbit Hole, Wow! The Hub and other tiny venues, or just walk around the campsite and make some new friends.
3. Visit the stone circle - the famous stone circle at Glastonbury has been there for just over a couple of decades, so it's hardly Stonehenge. But - whether you love or hate the fire puy lunatics - the absolutely stunning view from the 'Sacred Space' can inspire a mystical experience anyway.
4. Don't fret about the toilets - really. They're not that bad! Sure, there's the odd cubicle which looks like a scene from an early Peter Jackson movie - but just close the door and move on. There are plastic bogs, much-less smelly long-drops, African-style pit latrines, urinals and even She-pees for the ladies. Once you've gone once you'll realise/remember that they're not bad as your old school loos!
5. Write a list, check it twice - festival ticket, train/coach ticket, ID, money, mobile phone (with a long-lasting/backup battery), tent, raincoat, wellies/walking boots, toilet paper, torch, sunglasses, suncream, hat, bin liners, toothbrush/toothpaste, wet wipes, condoms, deodorant, towel, sleeping bag, painkillers, booze, food and a lighter (even if you don't smoke, you will be constantly asked if you have a light). Stocking up on the essentials will save you a fortune. No glass though - it'll be confiscated to protect the cows. You could probably smuggle a bottle of Kronenberg or perfume in your pants if you really tried, but do you really want to? (Answer: No).
6. "It's not just about the music, man" - obviously, you'll want to slap anyone who spouts that hippy platitude with a wet welly, but the truth is that they're right. Even if you're mainly there for the tunes, there's so much non-music fun to be had. Be it some politics at Leftfield, a trip to the Circus Big Top, some laughs at the comedy tents or just rolling around in The Green Fields, it definitely pays to get out of the main stage corridor.
Watch a clip from Julien Temple's 2006 film Glastonbury below:
7. Pick up the festival newspaper - if you're up before nighttime, there'll be plenty of free daily newspapers at various points around the site. Incredibly useful for any line-up changes, snippets of news from The World Outside, and hints about super special guests who will be gracing the festival with their presence. Also makes a great impromptu rainhat or seating mat.
8. Don't plan your days to the last detail - if you fall asleep in the middle of a field at 7pm and miss your favourite ever band, of course you'll regret it. But equally if you lay out a schedule packed with 15 bands a day that you have to see, you'll get irate when clashes and crushes mean that you miss them. You'll also be exhausted!
9. Visit Arcadia - after quickly graduating from a feature in Trash City, Arcadia has expanded into a must-see part of the festival. In 2011, it moves into a much bigger field and promises even more insanity. Lasers, fire, clanging metal and madness combine with DJ sets from the likes of Stanton Warriors, Neville Staple, and Glastonbury legends Orbital.
Watch some of the Arcadia spectacular at Glastonbury 2010
10. Do what you like - despite all the above, don't let anyone else tell you how to enjoy yourself! Come rain or shine, you'll probably have a great time. Tents floating away in the rain or iPhones falling down the loo will soon become anecdotes rather than catastrophes, and whatever happens, you'll take it all on board when you hit the farm again in 2013...
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