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We should be in for a gem of a night - will Louis and Gary have a big man-hug or will there be tears before bedtime? Will Tulisa pull out her serious face? Will Nicole say "balls" again? We might even get some performances from the contestants...
Join Digital Spy from 8.20pm as the live show kicks off on ITV1 to find out!
22:30Dermot's apologising for the language Tulisa used. I hate it when I miss the swears. But with that, it's over! Let us know who you want to go home in the comments... we'll see you here tomorrow for the results!
22:26Look, we got through it! Here's a recap of all the performances, because this episode has basically been going on for three days.
22:24Louis says the show's going out on a high thanks to Melanie - she can sing anything - and Tulisa says Melanie's in "full MILF mode". Steady on... She admits she was worried about the song choice but Melanie brought it back and blew everyone away. Gary says Melanie "sang her heart out" (but rudely points out that she's the oldest contestant in the competition.)
22:23To be fair, she is belting it out now we're at the end of the show, but there's just nothing much to say about it. It was fine - I don't think the song choice helped. But Nicole says she did a "brilliant job" and Melanie can do "everything" - from playful and delicate to "righteous notes".
22:22Melanie's doing 'Never Tear Us Apart', and it's super breathy, but a bit... dated? The white suit doesn't help, either. I like Melanie, but this is just all a bit flat - last week was better.
22:20Time for Melanie Masson now - she's crying about people voting for her, but she does call herself "nuts" which is a plus. Gary thinks the competition means the most to Melanie, and she does seem super-grateful for her spot. Aww.
22:19There's been a poll about who's getting it right - Gary or Louis. Gary is winning. What is wrong with the world?
22:13"I booked you a cab just in case," Rylan tells Gary. "I've had yours on hold for two weeks," Barlow banters back. But Nicole gets to the heart of the matter - there were dancing pandas! She tells Rylan he's not afraid to take risks, he's fun, and he doesn't take himself seriously. He was doing two things: "Liv-ing". Well, I've certainly perked up. Can we have Rylan again?
22:12Louis is gushing all over it - he says Rylan's needed on the show (and loves the Karl Lagerfelds, weirdly.) Tulisa agrees that it's blinking entertaining and she's intrigued by him. On to the big one - it's Gary. "If there was a competition for how many songs you could kill in two minutes you'd win," he says. He reckons the best bit was his song, too, before it became a "musical dirge". Oh Barlow, don't be a buzzkill.
22:10I've stopped even trying to keep up with what's going on with this performance. There are sexy pandas. And a catwalk. And Rylan wearing a sparkly jacket. And even bloody 'Gangnam Style', which becomes 'Rylan Style'. And you know what? His vocals aren't even that bad. Obviously, everyone will hate it. But balloons! Come on, this is what The X Factor is about. Nicole obviously gives it a standing ovation, but so does Louis. I knew he was my favourite judge.
22:08HELL YES HE'S DOING TAKE THAT. It's 'Back For Good'... but wait! He's not! It was just for Gary, and he's actually doing 'Groove Is In The Heart'. Oh God, I don't even care, Rylan is making this series. Woo!
22:08Rylan insists that he's not just a "joke act" - he's just a normal boy from Essex that wears silly outfits. And he says that if Gary doesn't like his performance, he should just storm off again. I'm kind of hoping that happens, though.
22:07YES. It's time for Rylan Clark. I feel like the show's totally overlooked him so far, so I'm hoping he gets his chance to shine this week. After the controversy, we get to see him sobbing on Nicole's shoulder (aww) and Nicole calling Gary "Bore-low" (amazing.)
21:59Gary says that's a "non-comment" - the feud continues. Tulisa says Kye has all the ingredients, but it's just not translating for some reason. Louis is so pleased that someone's agreeing with him that he turns on Gary, saying it's basically all his fault. Gary obviously sticks up for his act, and Kye says he gave it everything. Asked again what was wrong, Louis says: "I think it was Gary's fault." Incredible.
21:58His vocals definitely have improved as the song's gone on - he's actually quite strong by the end. Nicole thinks it was a brilliant song choice and mash-up with excellent vocals. But while there was fire on stage, it didn't set her on fire. (Clearly needed more baby oil.) Louis agrees - he thinks Kye has something missing, too. "I got bored," he says. Ouch!
21:56Mash-up into 'Stan' by Eminem. Except, it's not so much a mash-up as just stopping one song and starting another. Now we're back into 'Love The Way You Lie'. Eh.
21:56Well, Kye's singing 'Love The Way You Lie', and it is not good. I mean, I just cringed at the high bits. The only thing that could save this now is if he starts rapping.
21:54Time for Kye Sones - he's nervous about going home after Carolynne's exit. So he wants to do something risky - he mentions a mash-up. To be fair, by this point, it seems almost more unusual to just sing a single song.
21:52Bad news from Nicole too - she "didn't feel it" because it wouldn't have been on their album. She wanted something with more depth and edge and thinks they were out of their element. Weirdly, she liked the rapping, which was basically the worst bit. Still, Louis's here to cheer them up - it's fun and energetic and Charlie has an amazing voice, according to him.
21:51Tulisa says MK1 are the act having the most fun, and she's drawn to them despite all the distractions - but she warns them not to let Louis make them less urban. Gary likes most of it, but earns boos by saying their vocals were a little weak. "It's gone a bit Glee," he suggests.
21:49It's 'I Want You Back' from MK1, and Gary looks... confused. Charlie's voice is actually very pleasant to listen to, but she could really do this on her own. Last week showcased them as a duet much, much better.
21:48MK1 time now. They found time to play drums with our very own Alex Fletcher, and now they're dressing up Louis Walsh in a baseball cap and bling to make him more urban. Please keep them around more so we see more of Louis's swag. "I liked the uh-uh-uh bit," he says convincingly in rehearsals.
21:46Awkward parent chat now! We get to speak to Kye's mum, while James's mum says he blew her away. Lots of squeals for the Union J mothers - I would quite like them to form their own band. "I love a screaming mum," Dermot says, sounding a little sinister.
21:40Yay, Jade walked off before the phone numbers! I love it when they do that and Dermot has to call them back like a stern parent.
21:40My housemates reckon that was dull, but I feel like I've just had a lovely bubble bath. Gary liked it, too - he says she did an "amazing" job. Nicole says Jade is like a "beautiful, rare, exotic flower" that's been plucked from the wilderness. More good stuff from Louis - she's "incredible"! Tulisa adds that she proved herself vocally with that performance. Aww, isn't that lovely.
21:37She's doing 'Love Is A Losing Game' - that's our second Winehouse tune, people! She does have a lovely voice, and she looks stunning, too. Plus, the props department is making the most of their smoke machine.
21:36Time for the final girl - it's lovely Jade Ellis! She's still in the non-fatigued stage of X Factor, where she's excited about being on stage and going to see Tulisa's video shoot...
21:34BORE OFF BARLOW. He says they've had a "really bad night" this week (to be fair, he's talking about their vocals and getting all technical.) Louis is riling up the audience to boo, too - again, that handshake meant loads. Nicole disagrees - she liked it - but she's talking about sprinkling tabasco on apple pie (me neither). She wants something more from them - then talks about rubbing baby oil all over their bodies. We might need to move swiftly on, because it's all getting a little heated. Phew! Louis liked it, obviously, but I'm still distracted by Nicole miming rubbing her chest.
21:32There are flying rose petals and everything. My only disappointment is that they didn't sit on stools. Tulisa thinks their strong point is their harmonies, and they showed them off in that song. She says they'll be competing with Union J - but they have stronger harmonies!
21:30KEY CHANGE.
21:30AMAZING. They're doing Boyz II Men's 'I Swear'. They should win just for choosing this song, right? Right? The vocals are fine, too - some nice harmonies here and there - but whatever, it's Boyz II Men! Complete with a rotating platform.
21:28Time for another group - this time it's District3! They're talking about doing Bieber or One Direction. Louis sensibly points out that they're trying not to be carbon copies of their competitors. There's an amazing: "NO YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" moment in rehearsals - they're not keen on their song. Louis is keen on it. Bet it's Westlife.
21:22Tulisa's giving Lucy a standing ovation! Gary says she did well following her loss, and says he liked her doing a cover for once. Nicole's spending most of the time talking about the dancers, but says Lucy "swagged it out" and made it her own. Louis also liked it and thinks she did well after a tough week, while Tulisa points out that Lucy could have done a sad song but chose to make people smile - she didn't go after the sympathy vote. That's true - good for Lucy.
21:20Well, um, she's doing the rap, and playing guitar, so she's good at multi-tasking. It's definitely unusual... okay, it's awful. I just don't even know what to say about it.
21:18Lucy says the theme of "love and heartbreak" is perfect for her this week. She says she's going to do an upbeat song, because she wants to make people smile and smile herself. She's doing 'Gold Digger'... well, that's an unexpected one!
21:17Nicole promises to eat pork scratchings all the time if James keeps singing like that. Next up, though, is Lucy Spraggan, who's had a tough week - her grandmother passed away. It's really sad seeing her talk about it, so we're going to shut up for a minute.
21:15Louis says it was "emotional", praising the song choice and James's talent. "You have to get a record deal after this," he says. Tulisa thinks James has "pain" in his voice and she believed every single word - "You are my favourite boy by far," she adds. Gary's impressed with James's technique and emotion (plus, he's glad James is rid of the quiff and the guyliner.) Nicole unsurprisingly also likes him - apparently he's on "another level"! She thinks he's made Mary J Blige proud, aww.
21:13James keeps waving his hands around, kind of like he's karate chopping invisible bricks. Could this be the new Vickers-claw? The vocals are okay, but he's warbling a little. Now it's kind of like he's having a breakdown on stage, pulling at his hair and jerking a little. Tulisa doesn't seem to know what to make of it.
21:11Next up, it's Digital Spy-basher James Arthur (yes, we should probably get over it now.) Watching Nicole Scherzinger eat pork scratchings in one of the pubs he performs in is a joy, though. He's going to be singing 'No More Drama', so Nic gets Mary J Blige to call him. "I had no idea I was going to be talking to you," James says, calling her an "absolute legend" like she just downed a pint (Nicole unfortunately only sipped daintily at hers.)
21:05Dermot just said that Ella looks like Xena: Warrior Princess. Now there's a reference I never expected on The X Factor.
21:04Nicole thinks that Ella is "timeless" and "classic", while Louis thinks she's a "worldwide recording artist". But he thinks Tulisa's trying to make her into Adele with the beehive and all that. Tulisa insists she let Ella style herself... thoughts? Of course, Tulisa gushes over her too.
21:03I don't like Ella's dress. YES. Something that I can criticise her for. Gary's got his serious face on and he's clapping. He says she took a risk with the high notes ("F sharp descending", oh do bore off Gaz) but she "nailed" it.
21:01Oh, she's so annoyingly good. She's doing 'Loving You', and it's just wonderful. It's all simple, too - just Ella and a piano and some insane high notes.
21:00Okay, here we go, time for Ella Henderson! She thinks she's got a "great song", but she's never been in love, awwww. She's giggling about George now: "We're just best friends!"
20:54George from Union J has a very good phone-number smile. They kind of look like adorable woodland creatures. Anyway, ad time but Ella's coming up next - what do you think so far?
20:52"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you got everything right this week," says Nicole in the worst fakeout ever. She thinks they could sell out the O2 one day... Louis thinks Union J are bringing "excitement" to the contest. Do you agree with those squealers in the crowd?
20:51Now I can be smug, because Tulisa says it was much better than last week too. Gary agrees - it's a "transformation" - but he can't help but have a few sneaky digs at Louis. So much for that handshake, Barlow.
20:50Hmm, they're doing 'Bleeding Love'. There are plenty of girlish screams from the audience, so that's something. It's not bad... OH WAIT MASHUP TIME. Now we're into 'Broken Strings', too. Their vocals are much, much better this week, that's for sure.
20:48The guys are making sad-faces about their performance last week and are promising to work harder (Louis wants them to do three things - "rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse" - which is really just one thing, but whatever.)
20:47Union J time - we get to see them meeting One Direction. Somehow, the world avoided an apocalypse despite having all those boyband members in one room.
20:46Tulisa praises Chris's vocals, but she agrees with Louis - he needs to become more current. "There's no need to make him current," says Gary, who insists that he's perfect just the way he is. What do you guys think?
20:45Nicole's doing her best "acting" to pretend she doesn't know who Chris is. She's pleased with his improvement and the song choice: "I'm really impressed!" But Louis is calling it cruise ship and cabaret. Again - LOUIS. He thinks the song choice was lazy, but the audience is booooing.
20:43To be fair, Chris's voice isn't bad at all, and he's got a nice little opera quality at times. It's miles better than last week, at least.
20:42Louis is calling Chris "Mr Cheese". LOUIS. But Gary's not planning to change anything, so Chris is singing 'Alone'. For some reason, there's a bar in the background. I think I could do with a scotch to get through tonight, actually.
20:41Next up, it's time for your wildcard choice Chris Maloney. We're getting to see his amazingly over-the-top reaction to getting through again, but it's just making me nostalgic for Rachel Adedeji falling over all the time.
20:33Jahmene says he wants to "inspire" people with his music. Goodness. But he does apologise for oversinging last week! What did you all think of his performance this time around?
20:33The ladies are going to be lining up for Jahmene, Tulisa reckons. Thoughts on that? But she's gushing about his performance, as is Gary. Nicole calls Jahmene her "sweet little precious babycakes". I think we're all going to be using that nickname from now on, right?
20:31Woah, mash-up alert! We're into 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough', and it's definitely kicking up a gear. Nicole's giving him a standing ovation, while Louis says Jahmene's one of his favourite contestants ever. How many times has he said that?
20:31Jahmene is giggling about "true love" and Nicole's talking about the "tiger" in his eyes. But here he is - in a snazzy white suit - singing 'Tears Dry On Their Own'. He's definitely toned down the warbling (so far), but he's a little stiff... You can move your feet, Jahmene, you know.
20:29First up is Jahmene! He's feeling pleased because he got a tweet from Yoko Ono. My housemate is snorting that his brother got tweeted by Yoko Ono. Apparently it's nothing special.
20:26Nicole promises that Rylan's going to "come out fighting" tonight. Can we expect a boxing ring-themed boogie? Fingers crossed...
20:25Someone please capture Louis's "rabbit in the headlights" look, because it's amazing. Now Gary's being all "respectable" and shaking hands with Mr Walsh. Boooooooring.
20:25We haven't seen last week's drama enough, apparently, so here we go with yet another recap. Gary's burbling about it being "ridiculous" and Rylan's sobbing (not quite as fabulously as judges' houses, but y'know.)
20:24No Dermot dancing - a travesty. But at least he's wearing a waistcoat - looking sharp, O'Leary! And here are the judges, too (it's still a disappointment that Peter Dickson doesn't say "Contostavlos", isn't it?) No one's killed anyone yet, but there's still time.
20:21TONIGHT THE BATTLE CONTINUES. Apparently. We're seeing some serious stone-face from both Louis and Gary in rehearsals. Drama!
20:20Here we go! We're getting a recap of last week's controversy. Anyone would think The X Factor kind of enjoyed this? Funny how Gary Barlow is wooden even when he's saying: "Get the camera out of my face."
20:15We've just waved goodbye to Paddy McGuinness and the Take Me Out women, which means The X Factor is just around the corner! Who are you excited to see tonight? Leave your comments below!
