Let's get this out of the way first of all - there will be some spoilers here for viewers watching at UK pace. We may be only three episodes behind, but there have been some big developments that you really should wait and see. There'll also be references to a few ambiguous promo pics that have been released that some may want to avoid.
Those of you still here will know that the main focus of late has been Bree's trial for the murder of Ramon Sanchez/Alejandro Perez. The most recent US episode 'The People Will Hear' saw things take a turn for the worse when jurors heard her guilt-ridden suicide note, prompting her lawyer Tripp to suggest she bring up Gaby's link to the deceased as a way of saving herself.
It has to be said that the thought of the Housewives betraying each other in the finale has got this writer a little bit excited. However, we probably won't get an ending that dark. The focus of the last few episodes will likely be unity and loyalty, so viewers get the reassurance that the ladies' friendship will continue to hold strong off-camera. Imagine if the Friends all had a bitter row in 'The Last One'. How traumatic would that have been?
Still, there's potential for Gaby to get involved with Bree's drama, and we believe that the prickles of guilt already there will see her come forward to Bree's defence. It wouldn't be surprising for her to dramatically confess everything, given how in the latter half of this season she's talked a lot about proving and improving herself. Making the selfish, vicious little thing of season one sacrifice herself for her friend would be a satisfying way of concluding Gaby's arc across the entire series. Oh, and it's worth noting that the episode smushed in before the finale is called 'Give Me The Blame'. Hmm.
Will we see a Housewife go to prison then in the finale? Despite our confidence that the show will bow out on a relatively happy note, we think so. The murder of Alejandro Perez has been the big storyline of this final season; it'd be an absolute con for there to be 22 episodes of build-up without a real pay-off. Whether it'll be Bree or Gaby - or maybe someone else like Carlos - doing time is another issue for debate.
The main argument for seeing a Solis behind bars is that Bree has another storyline that needs to be resolved - her romance with Tripp, which we definitely expect to fully ignite in the final hours of Housewives. Gaby and Carlos, however, don't really have a secondary plot in place. Pretty much every issue they've faced this season has been dealt with. Why would Bree go into the finale with two storylines primed when Gaby has none? And this is slightly cheating, but she and Carlos aren't really featured much in the promo pictures for the final episode, while there are plenty of photos of Bree out and about on the lane looking happy with Tripp - is that a removal van we spy?
Another storyline that has rumbled on throughout the eighth and final season is the Tom and Lynette divorce. It's a pretty safe bet that the future of the Scavos' marriage will be decided, one way or another, in the finale. We're probably not alone in saying that we expect the two to reunite rather than go their separate ways. Maybe that's a little too obvious for the finale, but Marc Cherry has suggested that he's not interested in completely pulling the rug from under us. We suspect the big finish of the Tomette storyline will be how glorious their reconciliation looks, not whether it happens. We suggest bringing tissues.
The other big story for Lynette and Tom is the birth of their grandchild. Pictures of Julie in a hospital gown and Porter rushing to reach her have been released, so we're 99% sure the baby will arrive before the end credits. Here's our prediction for this plot point - the baby will be a boy, they'll call it Mike, Susan will cry.
She'll probably go through with her plan to leave Wisteria Lane too, because Cherry must have realised that it'll be reassuring to see someone feel the same sense of loss that we do. Expect one last emotional goodbye to Mike at his grave before she departs. It's a shame the ending Teri Hatcher suggested, with Mike's death being a big cover up and the family reuniting in the witness protection programme, isn't going to happen. It would have been ridiculously cheesy, but the consensus seems to be that Susan deserves happiness.
Someone else we'll likely be saying goodbye to in the finale is Mrs McCluskey. We already know there's no way of beating her cancer, so it makes sense for the loveable bat to take her last breath in the last moments of Housewives, probably surrounded by all her friends on Wisteria Lane. If we're right about everything so far, this finale is shaping up to be a major tearjerker.
And let's not forget Renee (although granted, it's pretty easy to). She's got a wedding coming, but the synopsis released says Ben is locked up in jail just ahead of their big day. That combined with a picture of Renee making an apparently surprising and outraged appearance at Bree's trial did make us think that maybe Ben would be the one taking the fall for Alejandro's murder. But on closer inspection, we've noticed that in some photos Lynette and Bree are wearing purple dresses - the colour that Renee demanded for her bridesmaids in the last episode. And Tom and Tripp are in suits. Looks like the wedding will be going forward after all.
Of course, this is all just speculation - we don't have a clue what's coming up in the Desperate Housewives finale and we're just as excited as you to find out. What we do know is that, whatever happens, it'll be tough to say goodbye to the women of Wisteria Lane after eight years in their company.
What are your predictions for the Desperate Housewives finale? Will you be sad to see them go? Leave your comments below!