In fact, Marnie/Lafayette is not feeling at all talkative, and when Jesus says goodbye and checks he's OK, Marnie/Lafayette tuts - and then stabs Jesus's hand with a fork.
Marnie/Lafayette ends up tying Jesus to a chair as Jesus urges his boyfriend to fight the spirit. He also tries reasoning with Marnie, but that's never going to work (Marnie's also annoyed at Jesus's betrayal, after all).
There's an exciting moment when Lafayette tries to break free, but Marnie's having none of it and threatens to kill Lafayette. Obviously this forces Jesus to play along - but he's shocked when Marnie/Lafayette reveals that she wants his magic.
After trying to reason with her a bit more, Jesus agrees to Marnie/Lafayette's demands (mainly because she's threatening Lafayette) but just doesn't quite know how to transfer his magic. That's not a problem for Marnie/Lafayette, though - she has a plan.
Jesus begins to chant and the candle flames flicker. Then, as he gets that weird demonic mask back, Marnie/Lafayette stabs him in the stomach and licks the blood off the knife (mmm). Jesus manages to tell Lafayette he's sorry, before slumping on the chair.
Speaking of Sam, he's been at Tommy's grave (along with Maxine, who wants Sam to call her mumma as they're the only family each other has - creepy. On the other hand, she is quite nice to Sam). Luna and Emma also show up to comfort Sam. Has he finally found a properly nice relationship?
After that, Sam heads back to Merlotte's and meets Sookie, who offers her condolences after finding out about Tommy. After Sookie claims that Sam fired her, Sam realises Tommy must have been skinwalking, but quite nicely suggests that he wasn't himself that day and offers Sookie her job back. Incidentally, it was good to see this calmer side of True Blood - the show can be so crazy that it often forgets that we - well, I - quite like seeing the characters just going around their business.
Meanwhile, one of Terry's old forces pals shows up - Patrick (also known as Scott Foley! I love Scott Foley). After introducing him to Arlene, Terry takes him off for a drink - as Patrick claims Terry saved his life twice.
Sookie's continuing to be the worst waitress ever, by the way, as Alcide's shown up and she's gone to have a chat with him. They apologise to each other and Alcide reveals that he's broken up with Debbie - for good. He points out that they always follow their hearts instead of their brains and should maybe switch that around, and get together.
Sookie's a bit reluctant, suggesting that she can't change who she loves. Anyway, the conversation gets interrupted by Alcide picking up a phone call and he leaves, telling Sookie to think about what he said.
Hoyt is devastated, saying that Jason made a "f**ked up, selfish, piece of s**t" choice to sleep with Jessica despite his excuse of drinking her blood, and claiming that something inside of Jason is "missing" - he will never be in love like Hoyt was with Jessica. He leaves Jason spluttering blood and whispering, "Sorry" as he lies on the ground.
Still, Jason gets home and uses an ice lolly to numb the pain. Jessica swoops through the forest in a red coat - gorgeous - and realises that Jason told Hoyt. After checking he didn't punch him, she tells Jason to invite her in.
Naturally, they're soon having sex, but Jessica interrupts to announce that she doesn't want to be Jason's girlfriend (what a time to have that conversation). She explains that she doesn't want to hurt Jason like she hurt Hoyt, and he agrees (after a bit of hesitation). Soon, they're back to having sex again.
Afterwards, Jason asks Jessica if she thinks a bit of him is missing, and she reassures him. But she's still going to leave - she's hungry and isn't ready to bite Jason yet as it's too intimate. Jason admits that he's been with a lot of women but no-one like Jessica, which she calls sweet. And then she rushes off (charming).
It's not long before Tara pulls up, saying that Marnie's back, has killed Jesus, and is inside Lafayette. That might just be the quickest Tara has ever worked anything out - and with such little evidence! Still, she's right.
The trio quickly drive off in an attempt to stop Marnie/Lafayette (again, Sookie is seriously the most unreliable waitress ever). Tara's worried that Eric and Bill will kill Lafayette if they figure out what's going on, but Sookie admits that she thinks they already know. And she's got it right - Eric and Bill are actually tied to a stake wondering how they're going to get out of it all and squabbling over whether Eric should summon Pam or Bill should summon Jessica.
Luckily, it's not long before Sookie, Tara and Holly show up. They try to reason with Marnie/Lafayette, but she's not listening. In fact, she starts a fire and Bill and Eric begin to burn. Ouch. Sookie's not having any of this and uses her fairy power to blast Marnie/Lafayette away.
Meanwhile, Holly's casting a spell and the trio manage to summon some spirits - including Adele! Antonia also appears and urges Marnie to give this all up. Marnie refuses, but Adele's not going to stand for any nonsense and pushes her hand down Lafayette's throat, pulling out Marnie's spirit.
Marnie is still determined to cause a bit of havoc but eventually Antonia persuades her to stop, pointing out that the vampires are cursed to live forever without being at peace. Marnie agrees to leave, although she complains that it all "f**king sucks". Sookie doesn't want Adele to leave, and sobs that she is lost without her. But Adele counsels her that the answer is in her heart, and being alone is nothing to be afraid of.
Sookie cries as Adele disappears, but she realises that there are more pressing matters at hand - Tara's hunched over Lafayette, trying to revive him. And Eric points out: "We're feeling a little crispy up here."
Elsewhere, Arlene's understandably moaning about being left at Merlotte's by herself, again. She puts the trash out, but is suddenly confronted by none other than Rene (who makes me shudder). Anyway, Rene's got a message for Arlene - don't trust Terry as he's seen his past, and it's not gone away. This couldn't have something to do with Patrick, could it? Terry comes out to comfort her - that's probably not that helpful in the circumstances.
Meanwhile, Andy apologises to Holly for his bad dating skills, and though she decides not to go out with him at the moment, she asks for a hug. Sam says goodnight to Luna and is feeling very romantic, but she tells him not to jinx it. That's probably quite well-advised, considering that when she leaves, Sam is crept up on by a werewolf.
That's not all the crazy stuff going on, either. Remember that Alcide left Sookie after getting a phone call? Turns out there's a bit of a hole in one of his parking garages and a chain in the rubble. Hmm, looks like we might be seeing Russell again...
Anyway, Pam's furious (and also really, really sad) that Eric's missing - and probably away with Sookie. In fact, Sookie's got a vamp on each arm, with Bill and Eric feeding on her blood. When they're done, Sookie announces that she can't deal with this love triangle any longer.
After quite meanly teasing both of them by making them both think they're in with a chance, she announces that she has decided not to be with either of them. She admits that it's the hardest decision she's ever made, and goes outside for a little cry.
Eric and Bill are unconvinced, but Nan threatens that Sookie won't be safe if they don't agree. They claim not to care, but Nan pushes it too far by claiming that they're "puppy dogs" around Sookie. Well. Eric ends up decapitating the guards, while Bill stakes Nan, leaving her a puddle of disgusting goo. "We are not f**king puppy dogs," he announces. Eric's more prosaic: "What a bitch."
Over at Sookie's, Tara's trying to comfort Lafayette but obviously he feels like he is responsible for Jesus's death. Later that night, though, he wakes up - Jesus is there! Jesus tells him that he's actually quite content with being dead. He promises to visit Lafayette, saying: "I'm dead. You're a medium. I'll always be with you." Then he vanishes, leaving Lafayette sobbing.
Sookie's hanging about downstairs, but suddenly Debbie turns up with a shotgun, threatening to do what she should have done a long time ago. Tara arrives and sees Debbie with the gun. She jumps in front of Sookie, but just as Debbie shoots. Tara gets hit in the head - it does not look good.
Sookie grabs the gun and overpowers Debbie, pointing the shotgun at Debbie's throat. Debbie begs her not to pull the trigger, but Sookie does, screaming. Then she rushes over to Tara, screaming for help... and we fade to black. Tara's head looked pretty blown up, but can she really be dead? That would be devastating! That's a question for next season...
- Lafayette's tut before stabbing Jesus with the fork - amazing.
- "You can't trade magic like f**king Pokemon cards!"
- Wasn't it handy that it was Halloween, so the line between the living and the dead could be blurred? All very convenient.
- The Halloween bit was also useful to keep making Sookie jump every time she saw someone in a bad costume. Since when has she been so nervy?
- And for getting in a joke about how zombies are the new vampires. Meta.
- Does anyone else want to try Maxine's famous pork rind casserole? Yum...
- Arlene's chat with Emma, when she asked what she was for Halloween, was amazing. "I'll either be a shapeshifter like mommy or a werewolf like daddy. He's dead." "Alrighty then..."
- Sookie looked cute in the rabbit ears. Don't know what she was whining about.
- Hoyt and Jason's secret handshake. Bless.
- Actually, the whole Hoyt and Jason scene had some lovely moments. Jason giving himself a motivational speech in his rear view mirror. Jason feeling nervous and describing himself as "moist". Hoyt seeing Jason's discomfort and asking if someone else has died.
- Jessica's red riding costume was amazing.
- Also amazing was Jason covering himself up post-sex with a beer mat cushion.
- "I liked you better when you were brain damaged."
- Lafayette crying in the dark was so sad.
- "I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name." Oh Pam, I feel the same way so often.
- "He showed great leadership in extremely perilous circumstances. You should be kissing his ring." "Why bother when your tongue's already so far up his ass?" Miaow.
- I am really going to miss Jesus, but maybe we'll see his spirit hanging around a bit more. That would be nice - and interesting if Lafayette found someone new.
- So Lafayette loses Jesus and potentially Tara? Poor Lafayette. Have a feeling he won't be dishing out that many wisecracks next season...
What did you think of the season finale? Leave your comments below!